Christmas Eve

Arguably my favorite day of the year. Many of you know of dad’s and my tradition of going out to lunch at White Castle on Christmas Eve. Stemming from a hunt for margarine years ago and suffering from the “crave” only to bear the wrath of a fudge-covered-holiday-stress-ridden matriarch, it quickly became our tradition. Fast-forward several years, Christmas Eve became my “gotcha day” on a very sleepy little 12 pound black poodle who was more content to lay on a pile of shoes than play with his new family. A short year later, Christmas Eve became the day I was expecting for a few months when Rick awkwardly and sweetly got down on bended knee and excitedly asked me to marry him.

Many happy memories are associated with today. I am looking forward to meeting dad at noon and heading to White Castle for the one day a year I indulge in greasy-onion-laden sliders. No really, I love White Castle but I rarely, if ever, will eat it again until next Christmas Eve.

Yet this year, I have a sobering weight lying on my mind. I feel like I can’t really put my finger on it. So many things have happened this month, both happy and very sad things. Things I am not at liberty to affirm but nonetheless have taken a large residence on my heart. All of these things continue to reveal the sovereignty of my God. Leaving me with a great desire to write, to lay it out in words, perhaps my greatest therapeutic outlet. I have preached it several times; especially following my infamous times revolving around Georgia: His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). Yet my human mind cannot help but ask, “Why?” Like a two-year-old, we demand to know the answer. Why has this happened? Why me, why us? I know the answer is not always given. And I find great comfort reminding myself of God’s sovereignty. Nothing, nothing is a surprise to Him, the creator of the universe. I can’t help but wonder though…why?

Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things. Ecclesiastes 11: 5

This is my answer. My limited human brain simply cannot comprehend the work of God. Small glimpse may be comprehendible, but the vast interworking’s of the world around me is simply too great. Only God is in control. And in that, I can rest. For he works all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).

Christmas time is my favorite time of year. I love December (that’s why we got married in December!). I love the lights, the giving atmosphere, the snow (most of the time). And with so many life-defining events circling Christmas Eve, it is forever connected as a very special time to me. Regardless, Christmas Eve holds so much anticipation and excitement for what the next day will bring: the gifts, the fellowship with family, and the excitement on children’s faces. How can anyone not love a day like today? (I know, that’s really a rhetorical question…)

So with all these things lying heavy on my mind and my heart, I reflect on the meaning of this time of year. God did not have to save us. We disobeyed him. We turned our backs on him. The Bible animates we’ve done it over and over again. Yet he loves us with a capacity so great that, again, we simply cannot comprehend it. Love so great He sent his Son to be our sacrifice for sin so we may be made clean and holy once more. And God continues to pursue us, even as we continue to run, rebuke, and rebel. I don’t know about you, dear reader, but how can you not be in awe of this kind of love? Truly, this is the reason for the season.

So as we enter into this busy and magical time of the year full of family, lights, and gifts, steal a moment to reflect on the meaning of why we celebrate: God’s gift of his Son, the Light of the world, so we may be adopted into his family. And rest in the fact that amid all the business and chaos, He remains in control.

A special thank you to the first responders, doctors, nurses, and all professionals that must work on this special day. Know you are appreciated by those you encounter and while it’s not spoken, it is understood you are missed by your family at that time.

I truly hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!