Before I moved home I remember talking to some of the girls at work in Georgia and saying how much I was not looking forward to orientation and being the "new person" all over again. Its very disorientating and even discouraging being on the floor and not knowing where things are and who peoples' names are. But one of the girls made a very valid point, "At least you will never be the new new nurse again." This is true. I have laid my foundation and built up a knowledge base where I feel confident enough in my critical thinking skills to step into a patient's room and do a basic physical assessment regardless of the fact that I don't know how to chart my findings in the computer or use the labeling system to send down my labs or even what the name of my tech is...or I guess I should say "NA"--they're nurse assistants here, and they are not to be confused for respiratory therapists in their hunter green scrubs instead of khaki and eggplant that my eyes have been trained to distinguish nurse aids as.
So tomorrow is my first day on the unit. I have mixed feelings. I'm excited to jump in and see the demographic I'll be working with. I'm excited to meet new people and start making new friendships and relationships. I'm excited to implement better practice techniques and policies. But all over again I am unsure about starting IV's after seeing that they use the same jelcos I couldn't maneuver in GA before they switched. I'm nervous about the computer and the charting system with its 18,000 different screens and navigation tool-bars and progress notes. I'm nervous about meeting new people that don't know me and my crazy, loud, blunt self. And I'm on day shift. Oh god, shoot me now. It was bad enough doing 8 hours of lectures, powerpoints, and guest speakers last week. I could barely keep my eyes open 30 minutes into class time. I cannot emphasize this statement enough: I hate day shift.
But it's only for a period of time, I know that. Soon enough I will be back on my night shifts flying on my own and this whole process will be just a faded memory that I will only draw on every once and a while to give some encouragement or humorous joke in mentoring another new nurse. I can't wait.
Going into tomorrow I have one prayer:
Dear Lord, Please help me tomorrow. Help me make a good impression on my co-workers, my preceptor, my manager. Help my preceptor to teach and guide me. Give her patience to work with me. Help me to do well. Help me make connections and friends, I am so bad at it. Help me care for the patients I will be charged with. Give me the compassion and wisdom as I lay my hands on them. Most of all God, your will be done and may your love and glory be seen through me. Amen.
I've written these two verses on the back of my badge:
In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. if you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility serious. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
Romans 12:6-8
And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
Colossians 3:17
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