Oh the seasons of life. A week or so ago I was lamenting to
myself about my current season of life: young in our marriage journey still
before children, working full time, rotating between normal sleep and zombie
status, and overwhelmingly busy with grad school. All I wanted to do was fast
forward to being done with school, done with a rotating full time schedule, and
herding my unnumbered children. Almost as quickly as the wish entered my mind
so did my mother’s voice, and the word of God that says, “For everything there
is a season, a time for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I must
try to enjoy this season of my life. At the very least, not wish it away so
quickly.
During one of our many conversations, mom reminded me of
some things I said only a mere 2 years ago:
“We’re waiting at least 2 years,”
“When Rick gets a promotion,” “When I’m done with school…”
When mom pointed
this out to me, I had not realized that we nearly accomplished all these goals.
Rick was promoted this past summer and started he new position this month. In
fact, he’s away this whole week for a genius training convention. We celebrate
our 2-year anniversary next week, and graduation is in sight. All of these were
things we had said we would like to achieve before trying for children., the
next season of our life. And before you get too excited, this is NOT a
pregnancy announcement post. Sorry to the hopeful relatives reading this. There
is however, an announcement.
I applied to grad school because I realized I did not want
to spend my career dictated by a unit’s politics or walk so far down one
nursing path that seniority would soon enslave me to a unit. A few months of
school under my belt and I began applying for various nurse educator jobs. If
for nothing else, to gain experience and exposure of interviewing again. Most
of the interviews asked into my educator experience. I have very little beyond
my precepting and I really feel that was where I was getting dinged the
most. After several interviews with no callbacks and becoming frustrated in my
general lack of experience, I googled “nurse educator” jobs one night looking
for perhaps an adjunct position or a clinical instructor post. Anything I could
get my feet wet with. I stumbled on a post for a Sim Lab Educator and clicked
further. One application and 4 interviews later, I am pleased to announce that
I accepted a position with DeVry’s Chamberlain College of Nursing campus as a
Clinical Learning Lab Specialist. So, like-brother-like-sister, I will be
working in the Simulation Lab running simulations, assisting with debriefings,
and helping students practice and master head-to-toe assessments. My first day
will be December 5th.
Honestly, the day after the first interview when my phone
rang and I recognized the number was a callback from Chamberlain, I had a
legitimate panic attack on the spot! I was so afraid I was making a stupid
decision moving forward with the interview process. Was I really ready to leave bedside nursing? My project isn’t done yet,
isn’t even started! What if this is a dumb move financially? I know this is
what I’m in school for, is the time really here already to make the move??
All were thoughts racing through my head that induced a full on
hyperventilating attack.
I really think the lengthy interviewing process was all in
God’s timing as He used those weeks to calm my nerves, settle my fears, and
open my eyes to the realization that I am
ready to move. I will miss bedside nursing. I know I will. I nearly read
mom’s mind when she said, “my only fear for you Renay, is…” that I will miss
it. Yes, I will.
I also feel like it was something I couldn’t pass up: a
daytime job, no weekends and no holidays. Yes, it’s 40 hours a week, Monday
through Friday, but to someone who has no end in sight to rotating midnight
shifts, this is every nurse’s dream job. This is also a HUGE opportunity to get
my feet wet with education experience. While I’m not directly teaching, I will
gain exposure and have a foot in the door when a faculty position does arise.
I do have to stay on at Beaumont as a contingent at least
until I can accomplish my research project. 3 shifts a month will be tight but
it will be easier than having to jump through new IRB approval hoops as a
“non-employee researcher.” And it’s only 9 months to graduation!!
My heart does yearn for children and I pray daily that this
is a desire God will one day grant for Rick and I. I recognize my impatience
and try to lock away snapshots of our current season, as it is, “just us,” this
time before children will change our lives forever. And in every season,
“giving thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
I can’t help but reminisce how excited I was to transfer to
NICU. I still recall telling my manger that I believed I wanted to spend a
significant amount of my career in a position like this. Just as I was writing
that blog post, nursing is a profession of constant learning and change. Three
years later and still those words are ever true. I also said that God gives us
the desires of our heart, the realization of those desires, and the ability to
achieve them. So here I go.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desire. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. Psalms 37:4-5
