2014

This morning I wandered back to my final post of 2013. I excitedly retold our proposal story and eagerly looked forward to everything that 2014 was going to offer. One year later, I can't help but smile because I am just as happy (if not more) as I was 365 days ago.

Since getting an iPhone, I've installed and come to a love-hate relationship with a particular app, "Timehop." It loves to time travel and remind you of all the inconsequential things you posted, talked about, and put on display on social media however many years ago. When I installed and began checking in daily to see my past dealings I never thought that what I might see would be anything I wouldn't want to be reminded of. Oddly enough, the time of the year I installed it was the same time of the year that revolved around the saddest portion of my past. So I was near immediately reminded of what I was going through 3 years ago. Of course the initial emotion is pained and personal embarrassment that I actually believed or went through with any of it. But since being on this side of the coin, I'm growing to appreciate and be grateful for some of those experiences. And I look into the face of my husband and I am so happy. At some moments I'm so overwhelmed with it that I start crying. It's like my darkest night turned into the brightest, warmest day.

I've said it before, I may never know why I had to go through so much hurt and pain, why God walked me through that time, what lesson I had to learn. But I am growing to appreciate those experiences because they are positively influencing my relationships now. Rick said, "You just needed to make a pit-stop because I wasn't ready to meet you yet."

2014 was a great year. I landed an awesome position in the NICU and joined an amazing "work-family," bought a cute 3-bedroom bungalow that I'm quickly evolving my homemaker skills in, survived the flood of 2014, and married my best friend and love of my life. I'm looking forward to kissing him at midnight tonight and welcoming all the challenges and blessings that God has for us in 2015! Not to mention all the reminders that Timehop will give me throughout the next year :)

Perfection

It was perfect. I can honestly sit here and say that my wedding day was perfect.

I could list all the things that went awry like a few "lost" groomsmen who were otherwise busy locking our tv, microwave, and fridge's water dispenser rather than getting dressed with their brother on time with the photographer, the sensation of feeling rushed to get family members posed for portraits, the guests trying to sneak a peak at the bridal party while trying to get said portraits, the crying 2 year old moments before walking down the aisle, the bustle that just wouldn't stay bustled, or the shattered cake topper. But none of that held any weight when the entirety of the day is looked at. 

My parents' house soon filled with hair and make-up supplies and just as they were finishing making us girls gorgeous, our photographer and videographers arrived. I think Megan and Hannah had a lot of fun getting dolled up! Mom even got some attention!

Megan got a hold of my phone and took the liberty of taking some self portraits.

writing my final note!

Rick's wedding gift was something I had worked on for 8 months.  Our first anniversary of dating was April 6th. So on that day, I started a journal to him. He's said on multiple occasions how much he enjoys my writing. So I wrote to him everyday since April 6th and chronicled our engagement journey to our wedding day. (after 245 entries I had one page left over in the book!). His gift to me was a white and rose gold heart necklace with a letter he wrote that morning on yellow legal paper. I loved it! Our videographer caught me reading it aloud on camera, of course I balled through it as well as everyone else in the room. I was really surprised at how heartfelt his note was, he even perfectly and meaningfully incorporated our first dance lyrics into his note.

Reading the first entry at the hotel room.
I loved seeing his ring on!

Moments before walking down the aisle, Larry was anything but the ball of nerves I thought he would be. In fact, he was probably more chill than I was! Thankfully, he may have gotten all the jitters out at rehearsal because he was nothing like the wreck he was that night.  After nearly an hour of hiding out in the bathroom with my mom and bridesmaids, I remember standing in the hallway waiting to be cued in, recognizing Cannon in D playing, and immediately lighting up just knowing we were now moments away. When we made the right turn out of the hallway and was facing the alter, I saw no one. No one but Rick standing there, waiting for me at the other end. Our ceremony was short and to the point and before either of us really realized it I think, we were being pronounced husband and wife! Husband...it is so weird referring to my husband. I was calling Rick my fiance at least a month before the ring even came in so I'm not sure why this new title is so bizarre to get used to!

Our reception was a great time to unwind all that pent up energy that accumulated the hours before the ceremony. I remember feeling relieved that our "performance" was over and we could just enjoy ourselves at the reception. I was a behaved little bride and stuck to the champagne for the toasts and water for my meal. I don't think Rick and I got anywhere near our money's worth out of the bar (but one thing is for sure, we can remember our wedding night!)

Our first dance that we practiced and stressed over for months I think actually turned out really well! I haven't seen it played back yet but I know that we at least didn't miss or repeat any steps and I think the fact that we did the dance without any real difficulty in my big dress with a bustle that came undone in the middle of the routine is impressive enough for me! I can't wait to see it on our full length video when we get it back. I feel a little silly for getting so stressed out over the first dance, especially the day before. Needless to say, we've given up dance lessons as a "hobby."

Our 2-day "mini-moon" was perfection as well. We stayed the two nights at the Townsend hotel, had breakfast in bed both mornings, relaxed, did a little Christmas shopping, ate some outrageously priced steak that redefined "slices like butter," and just enjoyed saying out loud our new names, "husband" and "wife." I still had another week off from work and spent it very slowly packing and moving out of my childhood room. I dreaded that task. It's a small room but I filled every possible inch of that closet and I'm sure there is still stuff in the basement and dark corners of my parent's house. But overall, living in my home has been a pretty seamless transition. I'm glad I had that week off to adjust before going back to my midnight routine.

"helping unpack"

So, so far married life has been a dream. I'm discovering how much I enjoy keeping house. Especially preparing and planning dinners. No complaints from Rick's end there! Tybee and Rooty are slowly figuring out their new routines too since living in two separate houses. Tybee is slowing becoming less attached and has stopped following me around the house so much. He's taken to his new hobby of neighborhood watch dog.

It's nice not planning for a wedding anymore. It's also nice to not be buying stuff for the wedding either! In all honesty, I truly feel my wedding was completely everything I hoped and envisioned it to be. From the deep red roses in my bouquet to mom's long veil, the feeling of intimacy and glow of candlelight, all the symbolism and sentimentality I wanted to incorporate, to the man at the end of the aisle. Everyone we hired was fantastic too, I have some seriously glowing reviews to write about every single one of our vendors. I can't think of a single complaint on one of them! It took me two weeks after the wedding to even realize I did not exert one ounce of energy the entire day even thinking about the previous wedding I planned and lost and fought so hard to forget. Rick laughed when I said this realization to him and he jokingly exclaimed, "I win!" I have so much fun to look forward to with him!

Our first meal!

Wedding Day

"I used to think a wedding was a simple affair..."

On the eve of my wedding day, I sat with my parents in our family room with the two dogs and watched Father of the Bride. A classic. I can't deny I got teary eyed in more than one part. Reminiscing at scenes that were similar to my own experiences in planning for the wedding and also anticipating scenes that would take place in just a few short hours. Like how Larry will be anxiously ready to start down the aisle and I will cooly say, "Just a minute dad."

276 days we've counted down to this day. This day I become Mrs. Richard Bethke. I don't know how many times throughout yesterday I kept repeating, "I'm getting married tomorrow...I'm getting married tomorrow..." trying to force the reality to be realized. I still don't realize it. In the quite of this morning before the make-up artist arrives and before the photographer and videographer with all their equipment unloads in my parent's living room, just cuddling with Tybee in my twin size childhood bed I confided in him I was marrying his daddy today trying one last time to make myself believe it is really happening. As the soft glow of the sunrise fills my childhood room...it just feels like a normal quiet Sunday morning.

But I'm sure it won't feel that way for very long...so dear blog readers. I leave you with this my final post as a single woman. Here's to a lifetime of love and happiness with Richard. My God has blessed me so very much. We look forward to filling our home with his love reflected in our relationship with one another because He first loved us.